Forgiveness: Being right or happy?

by Marteka Swaby July 21, 2016

Forgiveness: Being right or happy?

Forgiveness: Being right or happy?

Change your life for the better


Forgiveness is often one of our greatest challenges and a very important topic if you are serious about some of your most deepest connections. Learning to make peace with your past is key to getting on with your life, improving your communication and making lasting changes.


Perhaps you are reading this and thinking I will never forgive, especially if you are feeling angry and have been abused or victimised by someone you once loved or maybe you are even harboring bitterness towards yourself?


You don’t have to feel bad, no matter what the situation is or what you have done, there is always a better way. It is not about being best friends with the person who wounded you. Forgiveness is about accepting the truth and setting yourself free from the destructive effects of resentment and bitterness.


You cannot give what you do not have and if you cannot give yourself the mercy of forgiveness, you will never be able to find it in your heart to forgive anyone else.


Time to shift the focus

If you have been reflecting on and considering the broken relationships in your life, you may agree that your ego caused some of the unhappiness in your life or perhaps you have been on the receiving end of someone else’s hurting ego.


Is it time to stop blaming others and shift your focus?


These are barriers that you have created, let go of what is holding you back from being who you really are and stop being a victim. There is a new way to see things and change your life for the better.


Instead use your wisdom and insight taking your first steps on this wonderful journey, letting go of fear and control, making you feel good about who you are and better equipped to forgive.



7 Keys to freedom


Implement these 7 keys and you will see a transformation in your home, work or business.


  1. Forgiveness is not an occasional act it is a constant attitude. Taking the step to forgive someone that has hurt you may not be easy, that person may not be in your life anymore or it could be someone you see everyday. Either way forgiveness is a heart decision. A decision that happens in your heart first. It is only when your heart changes that your behaviour or actions will follow.


  1. Forgiveness is the best form of love. It takes a stronger person to say sorry and an even stronger person to forgive. Saying sorry first can be one of the hardest things, particularly if you do not feel like you are in the wrong and perhaps genuinely you really aren’t. However, to move on and be happy sometimes you have to be the first to apologise. Remember you can be right or be happy!


  1. Forgiveness is a primary key to happiness, the trait most strongly linked to happiness. People that are quick to forgive tend to be happier people because they do not harbor bitterness, it is the root of bitterness that when watered causes all kinds of divisions. If you have a bitter tree making roots. Uproot it. Choose to forgive!


  1. Forgiveness allows you to let go of fear and control allowing you to be who you really are. When we are governed by fear we try to manipulate or control others and situations to suit our own needs. This spoils relationships and even if we get what we want, it never turns out to be what we thought it would be. Instead try to relax and let go of fear and control you are more likely to attract what you really want when you are more authentic and being the person who you really are.


  1. Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. Forgiveness is more about you then others. When you have let something or someone go it is you who experiences the peace. The other person may have no idea and may not even care, but you deserve peace!


  1. Forgiveness is for moving forward. Not for forgetting. To forget means to lose the lesson learned from experience. It is good to get burnt occasionally, a reminder to exercise wisdom and helps us to be reflective. ‘Forgive and forget’ is the famous saying, but you should not forget, instead let go of the hurt but don’t forget it, as this will help you not to repeat! Letting go and forgetting are not the same things.


  1. There is a wise old saying that ‘He who covers and forgives offence seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on about a matter separates even close friends’ This is not too complex or deep to understand the art of forgiveness is a golden key to improving relationships. Learn to let it go!


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Marteka Swaby
Marteka Swaby